


Forget Me Not

by Akiko_Natsuko



Series: Fraxus [27]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Angst, Apologies, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Forgiveness, Friendship, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, Love, M/M, Memories, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Revenge, Sacrifice, Serious Injuries, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-08-25 15:08:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16663129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: Everyone has something they would rather forget, and memories that they never want to lose. Laxus has plenty that he would rather leave behind him, but his memories of Freed are something he could never imagine living without out. Until that becomes the only thing he has that could protect the Rune mage, but is that really the price that must be paid?





	1. Chapter 1

   Laxus sighed as he stared up at Kardia Cathedral. He had first discovered the bench where he was currently sat a month after they had returned from Tenroujima, it offered him a good view of the Cathedral but was tucked away between two hedges hiding him from sight unless someone knew where to look. It had been guilt that had first driven him here. He had been accepted back into the Guild, he had the Raijinshuu back at his side, and he had Freed. Life had been better than it had been for a long time, but the memories of what he had done the last time he was in Magnolia were not so easy to erase. No one ever mentioned what had happened back then, and there was no sign of it when they interacted with him and yet all he could see when he looked at them was what he had done. What he had tried to do, and so he had come here, back to the place where Natsu of all people had knocked some sense into him and more importantly stopped him before he could do something unforgivable.

“Laxus?” The quiet voice broke into his turbulent thoughts, and he immediately stilled. Of course, he came…He knew even before he turned his head who had found him, and his expression softened as he met worried turquoise eyes as Freed quietly settled onto the bench beside him. He had never told the Rune mage about this place, and all he had said earlier when he was leaving was that he would be back in a while. So how had Freed known where he was? Or that what he needed right now was a reminder that he hadn’t screwed everything up? The slender hand that slipped into a moment later gave him the answer…because it was Freed. Even back when they had just been teammates, he had never been able to hide anything from the other man, and it seemed that no matter where he went the Rune mage would and could find him.

“I thought you were going to be helping Levy all afternoon?” He asked, struggling to speak past the emotions rising in his chest. It wasn’t even what he had wanted to say, but until he had the right words, he didn’t want to try and broach what he needed to say.

“I was,” Freed admitted softly, and Laxus blinked at him remembering how excited his partner had been that morning, ranting on and on about the rare books that the Solid Script Mage had just managed to get her hands on and the fact that he was going to help catalogue them for the guild library. To be honest, most of it had passed in one ear and straight out the other, he wasn’t really a book person, and all he had cared about was the rare, utterly open smile on the younger mage’s face as he spoke and the way he had been practically vibrating with excitement. Fresh guilt began to churn in his gut at the thought that he had pulled Freed away from something like that.

“Then…?”

“You’re brooding about the past again.” It wasn’t a question, just a quiet statement of fact but Laxus found himself nodding anyway, well aware that Freed wouldn’t be fooled by his denials or by a change of topic, and to be honest, he was too tired of dealing with his past on his own. “Laxus…”

“Sometimes I wish that I could just get rid of these memories,” Laxus admitted, lifting his free hand and running it wearily across his face, hesitating for a moment before adding softly. “There’s a hell of a lot of my life I would quite happily forget, and how I behaved during the Battle of Fairy Tail is only part of it, albeit a very large part.”

“Your father?” Freed guess cautiously, well aware that even now after Laxus had well and truly defeated his father during the Grand Magic Games the man was still a sensitive topic. He was one of the few that knew the true depths of Laxus’s feelings towards the man and what he had done, and he still tried to avoid the topic like the plague, and he was unsurprised when the Dragonslayer tensed for a moment before releasing a soft huff.

“Yeah…” He lowered his hand and took Freed’s hand in both of his, gently tracing the callouses that had come from years of wielding a sword and using the sensation to ground himself. “And the times I’ve hurt you.”

“You’ve never…”

“I could have killed you back during the Battle of Fairy Tail. I wasn’t in control of myself back then, and you were caught up in the middle of it,” Laxus cut off the automatic protest, tightening his hold on Freed’s hand and letting his fingers shift till he could feel the Rune mage’s pulse beating steadily beneath his fingertips. _I could have lost this._ It was a thought that had haunted him more than once since that day, especially in the long months of travelling on his own and he’d lost track of the number of times he’d thought the urge to travel back to Magnolia just to check on Freed.  “I left you behind…” There was no way he could have uprooted Freed back then, well aware that while the Rune mage had willingly aided in his rebellion he was attached to the guild and he knew that with him gone, Freed would have a chance to build on those attachments. “I…” There were other, more minor infractions but before he could launch into them he found himself being cut off by Freed’s lips pressing against his, and his eyes widened at the desperation behind the kiss.

“Stop…” Freed whispered when he pulled back, nuzzling into the side of the Dragon-slayer’s neck and using his free hand to pull Laxus into a hug, seemingly unaware of how stiff Laxus had become although the Lightning mage wasn’t fooled in the slightest. “Stop, please just stop.”

“Freed…?”

“I never blamed you,” the Rune mage murmured softly, arms tightening around Laxus when the Dragon-slayer opened his mouth to protest, and the blond silenced himself, unable to look away from the green hair now tickling his chin and the amazing man who seemed to have no comprehension of the warmth his words were leaving behind them. “Not for getting me involved in what happened back then. Not for leaving,” Freed paused for a moment, pressing a light kiss to the Dragon-slayer’s throat before pulling back so that he could meet Laxus’s gaze. “I won’t lie and say it didn’t hurt, or that I didn’t miss you, but that is in the past. You’re here now, and that’s all that matters.”

“Freed…” Laxus finally found the ability to move, wrapping his arms around the Rune mage and pulling him closer. _What did I ever do to deserve you?_ He had been prepared for some kind of punishment when they were reunited, but he had never received even the slightest bit of recrimination from his partner. Even Bickslow and Evergreen had taken the opportunity to gripe at him for being gone so long, but not Freed, and he had never realised that the Rune mage saw it in that way. He closed his eyes and buried his face into the soft green hair, immersing himself in the smell and feel of his mate. In the scent of home, feeling tears on his cheeks as Freed hummed happily, snuggling closer than ever.

_Freed…_

   For all the things that he would happily forget, there was far more that he wanted to etch into his memory and never forget, and the majority of those memories had to do with the man currently curled in his arms. He could live with everything else - the painful memories, the guilt of what he had done and the fear of what he could have done if he hadn’t been stopped, as long he had those memories. As long as he never had to forget the Freed in his arms. The Freed who had been almost child-like with his excitement that morning. His mate’s smile, his scent, the way he snuggled against him when asleep. Every little idiosyncrasy about this man he never wanted to forget.

    There were other things he wanted to remember for as long as possible. His teammates, Ever and Bickslow…the smile on Makarov’s face when Laxus had held his hand out to him back on the island. The way Natsu had fought against his exile despite what the Lightning mage had done. But he would give up all that in a heartbeat, as long as he had Freed, as long as he could remember the man that kept everything bad at bay and who loved him as messed up as he was.

“Better?” Freed asked quietly as he felt Laxus beginning to relax, smiling as he heard the soft hum of acknowledgement, rubbing his nose over where he could feel the Dragon-slayer’s heart pounding beneath,

“Yeah,” Laxus nodded, reaching down and gently tilting Freed’s head up and kissing him softly, before nuzzling his nose against Freed’s and chuckling as the Rune mage wrinkled his nose at the sensation before returning the gesture. “Thank you.”

“I’ve told you before, I’ll say it as many times as it takes,” Freed whispered, this time being the one to lean in for a kiss. However, as he moved to deepen it, there was a loud rumbling, and they both stilled in surprise before a startled laugh escaped the Dragon-slayer as it dawned him on what the noise had been just as a blush began to pass across Freed’s face.

“Don’t tell me you forgot to eat again?” He asked with a raised eyebrow, well aware that Freed had a tendency to forget to look after himself when he was engrossed in his books, and he had heard Gajeel complaining about the same problem with Levy. The guilty look the Rune mage was all the answer he needed, although he couldn’t stop himself from laughing again as Freed shifted against him, before admitting sheepishly.

“Maybe…”

   The romantic mood was well and truly broken, but Laxus didn’t mind too much, and a grin spread across his face as a thought occurred to him and he gently nudged Freed away before rising to his feet. The younger mage pouted at the loss of contact, before blinking as the Dragon-slayer offered him his hand and he shot Laxus a quizzical look even as he allowed him to pull him to his feet.

“Let’s go out for dinner, its late enough that we can make it an early one,” Laxus explained as he glanced up at the sky and noting that the sun was beginning to set. Turning back he could see that Freed was hesitating a little, no doubt thinking about the books still waiting for him, but he knew how to bring the younger man round to his way of thinking. “We’ve not had a night to ourselves for ages…” They had just finished a series of jobs, which had meant living in close quarters with the rest of the Raijinshuu and while Bickslow and Evergreen had made it clear they didn’t mind, they did try and keep things reasonably private around them.

“That’s true…” Freed muttered, grimacing as he recalled how the Seith mage had walked in on them just that morning when their kisses had been getting a little too heated over breakfast. “But…”

“You need to eat, and I want to spend more time with you.” Freed had clearly been faltering before, and Laxus knew that he had him the moment the turquoise eyes softened at his words, and he struggled to keep his triumph off his face when the Rune mage nodded a moment later.

“Fine but I’m getting changed first, I’m covered in dust,” Freed muttered glancing down at himself, before moving forward and reaching up to flick the Dragon-slayer on the nose. “Stop looking so smug,” but there was no real heat in his voice, and Laxus easily caught the attacking hand and pressed a kiss to it before releasing it, still clinging to Freed’s other hand as he began to pull him away from the bench with a soft hum of agreement.

“It’s a deal.”

****

   Laxus found himself unable to take his gaze off Freed that evening as they sat in the restaurant. The younger man had tied his hair back in a ponytail, and it was doing funny things to the Dragon-slayer’s stomach, and from the slight smirk playing on Freed’s lips, the other man was fully aware of that fact, and he had to bite back a growl. No one ever believed him when he said that Freed tormented him far more than Laxus tormented him, and blue eyes narrowed as he reached out under the table to lightly kick the Rune mage, feigning an innocent expression when Freed jumped and shot him a glare. Of course Freed quickly got his payback, shifting his attention back to the menu and seemingly ignoring the Lightning mage, but then his hand crept up to play with the end of his ponytail, and Laxus let out a low groan.

“Freed…please.”

“Hmm, is something wrong?” Mischief simmered in Freed’s eyes, and Laxus sighed in defeat. If they had been anywhere but Magnolia he might have given in to the temptation to retaliate with a very public display, but there was too much of a chance that they would run into their guild-mates or gossip would get back to Fairy Tail. And Freed knew that he realised seeing the flicker of triumph in his mate’s eyes, and he growled softly. However, he wasn’t wholly weaponless, and he forced himself to relax, before smirking at Freed who looked uneasy at the shift in the expression.

“I was just thinking about later when I’m going to…” He had gradually let his voice get louder, and at the last minute Freed leant across the table and clapped a hand across Laxus’s lips, shooting him what would have been a frightening glare if it wasn’t for the red colouring his cheeks. Teasingly he swiped his tongue along the hand silencing him, laughing at the yelp that met the action before Freed snatched his hand back. “Truce?” He offered once he got his laugh under control.

“Truce…for now.”

   The rest of the meal had been a lot more peaceful, although when it had come to dessert, they had ended up playfully feeding each other bites of food. Laxus drinking in the sight of Freed laughing freely when he managed to miss his mouth, smearing cake on his cheek and the look of utter bliss that appeared when the younger man savoured each bite of the chocolate cheesecake. Not many people knew but the Rune mage absolutely adored chocolate, and more than once the Lightning mage had used that to persuade Freed to join him in escapades that the Rune mage had initially been against. He had also earned significant brownie points on their last anniversary by conspiring with Mira so that every time the Rune mage had turned away another chocolate had appeared in front of him.

**

   Neither of them had been particularly keen on returning home or to the guild just yet, not when time to themselves had become so scarce, and instead, they had headed for a quiet bar that they had frequented in the past when they had been actively trying to avoid the guild. The bar was busier than they remembered, but there were familiar faces, and they were able to snag their favourite booth at the back. It was strange being here without their teammates, but the strangeness swiftly disappeared as they curled up together with a drink, paying no mind to anyone else in the bar as they used the time to catch up with one another. It wasn’t that there was much to share, after all, they had spent nearly day together, but it felt different being able to take their time to talk about it rather than rapid conversations over a snatched meal, or the banter with their teammates.

   They had been there nearly an hour when Laxus shifted with a groan, as the need for the bathroom that he had been ignoring for the past half hour in favour of spending more time with the Rune Mage.

“I’ll be right back,” Laxus muttered, stealing a quick kiss before rising to his feet and heading towards the bathroom.

   Freed watched him go, his smile dropping a little as his thoughts drifted back to earlier. While he was glad that he had been able to help, and he knew that their quiet evening together had helped, even more, he knew that the thoughts were still there lingering beneath the surface. It had scared him a little when the Dragon-slayer had talked about being able to forget those things, but a small part of him did wish that they could just erase those memories even if they were what had shaped his partner into the man he was today. Sighing he picked up his drink and drained the last of it, vaguely thinking that they should head back soon as he knew that Ever and Bickslow had been talking about taking another job soon which would mean they needed to be up early.

   As the minutes passed Freed began to feel strange, an odd heat sweeping through his body as the room began to sway around him and he groaned. _What…?_ His eyes were feeling heavy, and he reached up to rub his hand over his eyes, only to find that the room was shifting more and more and he whined before squeezing his eyes shut in the hopes of getting it to stop. _Laxus…_

“Freed?” Laxus asked when he came back a couple of minutes later, frowning when he realised that the Rune mage’s eyes were shut and he was unprepared for Freed toppling towards him a moment later when his eyes shot open with a startled cry. “Woah easy, how much did you drink while I was away?” Freed’s face was a picture of confusion for a moment before the question seemed to sink in, waving an uncoordinated hand towards the glass in front of him and blue eyes narrowed. The Rune mage was a lightweight, they both knew that and were always careful not to push his limits, and it seemed as though Freed hadn’t forgotten that. _So what is going on?_ The Rune mage listed against him and he braced him one-armed, reaching for the empty glass and giving it a sniff. It was faint, barely even enough for his dragon-enhanced senses to pick up on but there was an arid scent that had no place in that drink, and a furious growl welled up in his chest.

“I don’t feel well,” Freed admitted, his voice slurring as he pressed his face into Laxus’s chest, trying to ignore the world as it spun faster and faster around him, frowning as he felt another snarl rumbling through the Dragon-slayer. “Laxus…?”

“It’s okay,” there was no trace of the snarl now as the Lightning mage focused on soothing him, arms strong around his shoulder and Freed nodded slightly, trusting that Laxus would take care of him. “Let’s get you home,” he murmured, waiting for a soft noise of assent before gently easing Freed to his feet, bracing the Rune mage when his legs threatened to give way beneath him. “Easy, I’ve got you. I’ve got you,” his eyes were darting around the bar, trying to work out who had managed to get close enough to mess with Freed’s drink. He knew that they had both been more relaxed than usual, but the fact that someone had managed to get that close. His arms tightened around the Rune mage, his lightning beginning to crackle around his fists. _Just try it. Just try touching him…_

    The fresh air outside seemed to revive the Rune mage a little, and he took some more of his own weight, but Laxus refused to relinquish his hold even slightly, eyes constantly roving around them. Someone had targeted Freed, and while he doubted that anyone would be foolish enough to try anything further with Laxus right beside him, he wasn’t going to let his guard down.

“Sorry…”

“It’s not your fault,” Laxus shushed him gently, not needing or wanting an apology. He knew that if Freed had been distracted, it was because of him, well aware that the Rune mage would know that his earlier guilty thoughts would not be completely eased away by words alone. “Come on,” he wanted to get his mate home and safely in bed, with a locked door and their teammates between them and whoever had tried to go for the Rune Mage.

**

   They had made it to the street where their house lay, in fact, Laxus could see their bedroom window from where he was stood letting Freed catch his breath for a moment. The younger man had done well to keep up until this point, but it was clear that his strength was waning now, most of his weight resting against the Dragon-slayer and his eyes at half-mast.

“It’s the last stretch,” Laxus murmured encouragingly and Freed grumbled a soft complaint, but complied when the taller man pulled him forward, pressing his face against his shoulder as he tried to shut out how the world had resumed spinning around him. They’d barely taken a couple of steps when someone stumbled into them, tearing Freed out of his grasp and knocking the other man to the floor. For a split second, he thought that it was just a drunk person, their street was one of the main thoroughfares between the main town and some of the quieter areas, although he was still growling at them even as he turned towards Freed who had made no effort to pick himself up.

   However, he was too slow, and the man who had bumped into them was like lightning, seizing hold of the dazed Rune mage and dragging him up to his feet, but what grabbed Laxus’s attention was the blade now pressed tightly against the fragile skin of his mate’s throat. Instinctively he froze. Usually, he could have relied on Freed to either free himself or protect himself as Laxus attacked, but the dazed turquoise eyes that met his at the moment showed no comprehension of the situation they were in and a low growl rumbled through his chest as helplessness washed over him.

_Freed…_

****

   Laxus groaned as he slowly clawed his way towards consciousness. As much as he hated mornings, he usually snapped awake in an instant, so the fact that he had to fight to get his eyes open was his first clue that something wrong. The second clue was the dull ache permeating his entire body, as he was reasonably sure that he hadn’t been injured the last time he had checked and yet now it felt like he had gone through the battle with Natsu all over again. The third clue came when he tried to move, realising that there was something sticky helping to keep his left eye shut and intending to rub it away. He couldn’t lift his arms. Hell, he could barely shift his hands, and the fear of that realisation lending him the strength to force his eyes open, although he could only get the left one partially open.

   He was in a small, poorly lit room that he had never been in before, but the uneasiness that churned in his stomach at that revelation paled in comparison to the rage that swept over him when he lifted his head to see Freed strung from the ceiling across from him. _Freed._  The Rune mage was unconscious, a large bruise marring the side of his face, but what scared Laxus more was the blood staining the front of his coat.

“Freed!” He called, but there wasn’t the slightest twitch to show that the younger mage had heard him, and panic churned in his stomach. _What the hell happened?_ Between his fear for his mate, and the dull ache that was slowly growing into a hammering pain in the back of his head it was difficult to focus…they had been out for a meal…then they’d gone for drinks…the colour drained from his face as he remembered what had happened, Freed being drugged and struggling to get him home and the drunk who hadn’t actually been a drunk.

_“Laxus…” Comprehension was slowly breaking through Freed’s drugged haze, and with it, the fear and Laxus felt his heart clenching at the pleading tone. However, that quickly turned to fear when the Rune mage weakly tried to tug himself free as he realised that it wasn’t the Dragonslayer who was holding him up, and the knife shifted, drawing a drop of blood that stood out starkly against his skin._

_“Stay still,” Laxus’s insides twisted anxiously as it took a moment for his words to register, but thankfully the younger man was so used to listening to him that he stilled immediately. Once he was sure that Freed was going to stay put, for the time being, the Dragon-slayer shifted his attention to the man holding him and a chill went through him as he realised it was one of the bartenders he had seen earlier. He hadn’t recognised him, but it had been a while since they’d been there, so he had dismissed it. Damn it…” What the hell do you want?” He demanded, wanting nothing more than to rip him away from Freed, but not daring to move a muscle for fear of that knife slipping._

_“You…Laxus Dreyar.”_

_“Then let him go!” Freed would probably kill him if he handed himself over just like that, but Laxus wouldn’t hesitate to do so, especially not when Freed was currently unable to protect himself. “I’ll go with you quietly if you release him,” he had no intention of doing so of course, the second his mate was safe he would wreak havoc, but he knew that wasn’t what the man wanted to hear right now._

_He tensed at the sound of quiet footsteps coming up behind him, terrified that some innocent passer-by might try to help and only make things worse. But as they came to a halt behind him, he tensed, his sharp ears and nose telling him that he was surrounded without him having to glance away from Freed. Damn…_

_“I don’t think so,” Freed’s captor was speaking to him again, and Laxus tensed as he tapped the blade against the Rune mage’s throat, his heart hammering in his chest as terror flickered over Freed’s face. He was usually the best of them when it came to hiding his emotions, but at the moment he was an open book and Laxus shifted with a growl as the man smirked at the small whimper that escaped from the Rune mage when the blade caught the small cut it had already made. A warning look made him still again, and he wanted to howl in frustration. All that time spent getting stronger for the sake of protecting Freed, and it was all for nought at the moment. “I know what you’re capable of.” The man nodded at one of the people behind him, and Laxus had barely begun to turn towards the new threat when something had struck him across the back of his head, and he’d gone down at once, unable to do anything as his thoughts were sucked down into darkness…_

   Which explained the pain in his head, and what he guessed was blood that was keeping him from opening his eye fully, but it didn’t explain why Freed was injured. Even if the Rune mage had wanted to try and help him, he had lacked the strength by that point… _so why did they hurt him?_ The men that had taken them had clearly known who he was, which didn’t really narrow down the list of possibilities. He had been an active mage for a long time, and he had made a lot of enemies. It was one of the reasons he trained so hard to make sure that he could protect his teammates. So that he could protect Freed. _I failed at that_. His gaze drifted back to the Rune mage who was still showing no signs of stirring, and he scowled in concern.

_How long had Freed been unconscious? How much blood had he lost? Were there any other effects from the drugs?_

“Freed! Freed wake up!” He called again, but there was still no response, and he began to try and throw himself forward, yanking as hard as he could despite the pain the actions sent lancing through his head and the nausea welling up. _Freed please, you have to be okay_. There was no give whatsoever in his restraints, and slowly he stilled as he realised that the only thing he was doing at this stage was hurting himself. Taking a deep breath, he reached for his magic, it hurt like hell when he zapped metal restraints, but that pain was better than standing here with Freed needing help right in front of his eyes. However, there was nothing. No static, no flare of magic, and when he tried again and again with the same result, he felt the stirring of real terror.

_They were ready for us. They planned this…_

   A soft whimper from the other side of the room caught his attention, and he hastily did his best to bury his fear. Freed could always read him, but he desperately didn’t want him to this time… because for once the Dragon-slayer had no idea how they were going to get out of this.

“Freed?” This time his call was met by a slight twitch, and he began a string of constant encouragements as he watched Freed trying to fight his way back to consciousness. Although his voice faltered when pain flickered across the younger man’s pace and for a moment, he was tempted to let him slip back under so that he could escape the pain and avoid being confronted by their current situation. Of course, that was the moment that the Rune mage, contrary to the last, managed to ease his eyes open. His gaze was unfocused, and it roved unseeing around their prison for a moment before his eyes slipped shut again. “Freed!”

“Lax…”

“Yeah, it’s me,” Laxus wanted to weep at the sheer relief he had heard in the Rune mage’s voice, knowing that Freed had automatically associated his voice with safety. _I didn’t protect you, and I have no idea how to get us out of here. I’m sorry._ However, he pushed those thoughts aside for the time being. There would be plenty of times for apologies later when they weren’t chained up, and he knew that Freed was on the mend. “Freed can you open your eyes for me?”

“No…”

“Please?”

   Freed muttered a soft protest but struggled to obey, all the same, fighting to open his eyes once more, and it took a few minutes before he managed it, and even then they were only half open, and Laxus knew that it wouldn’t take much to pull him under once more. The Rune mage was blinking heavily, and it took another couple of minutes before he managed to focus on the Dragon-slayer at all and even then his gaze kept slipping in and out of focus. However, it was clear that he was becoming more and more aware of their situation, his brow wrinkling as he glanced around, weakly tugging on the chains holding him in place.

“Where…?”

“I’m not sure,” Laxus admitted quietly, hating the fact that he had no idea where they were. They had been so close to home, but they could be halfway across Fiore by now for all he knew. The others must surely know that something had happened by now, but would they be able to find him. “Freed what did they do to you?” He asked, realising that Freed had begun to lose focus again while he was distracted by his thoughts, needing to know what they were working with.

“I…” Freed tried to reply, but his words were slurring, and he trailed off, shaking his head slightly as his eyes drifted shut once more.

“Freed, please it’s important.”

“I…” Freed whispered, valiantly forcing his eyes open once more. “You…fell?” Laxus nodded silently, his stomach clenching at how young and uncertain the other mage sounded at the moment, worried about the slurring that still dominated his words. “I tried to get to you. Got free for a moment, then…stabbed?” He glanced down at himself as though doubting his own words, blinking sluggishly as he took in the blood staining the front of his jacket. “Stabbed…”

 _Shit._ If Laxus hadn’t been bordering on terror before, he certainly was now. Part of him wanted to demand to know why Freed hadn’t run when he’d broken free, but he forced back the words, knowing that the Rune mage was in no state for that argument. Besides he knew that if their roles had been reversed, he would have done the same. _But that doesn’t help us now_. Freed’s head was sinking now, his eyes drifting shut again, as exhaustion and his injuries threatened to pull him under again.

“Laxus…go…” Freed’s eyes were still shut, his voice getting softer and softer, and yet each word hit Laxus like a hammer blow. “I’m…fine…you can…come back...for me.”

“No way!” Laxus protested at once, wisely deciding not to mention the fact that at the moment it wasn’t even a choice. _Hell will freeze over before I leave him behind_. Guilt flared to life beneath the terror, well aware that even as out of it as he currently was, Freed meant every word that he was saying. He would quite happily watch Laxus escape without him as long as it meant the Dragon-slayer was safe, even though it was Laxus’s fault, they were in this mess. Their captors had said his name, they knew him. He was clearly their target and Freed had once more been dragged into his mess. “We’re getting out of this.”

“But…”

“I’m not leaving you behind,” Laxus cut across the weak protest, unable to bear the thought of listening to all the reasons that Freed would no doubt be able to come up with for why he should be left behind, but he softened his voice for the last bit. “Get that through your stubborn head!”

“’Kay…” Freed sighed.

“Freed? Freed?!” Laxus lunged forward against his restraints when there was no response, grunting as pain flared through his head and it took him a moment to realise that the younger man’s breathing had eased out once more. As much as he feared letting the Rune mage sleep, he knew that it was probably kinder given the situation and the pain that the younger man must be in. But it didn’t stop his hands from curling into fists as he watched the laboured rise and fall of Freed’s chest, afraid to look away in case anything changed.

_Freed, I promise I’ll get you out of this…_

**

   Hours had passed, although the poor light in the room remained constant so Laxus had no way of telling whether it was day or night, or exactly how long it had been since he’d woken. Despite his best intentions, he had found himself dozing every now and then, his injuries draining his strength, and the time that he was awake was spent watching over Freed with worried eyes. The younger mage had woken intermittently, and while he had seemed more and more focused each time, it was clear that his strength was waning and Laxus was growing more and more worried about the injuries hidden away beneath his clothes.

   He had tried numerous times to break free, to the point where his wrists were now torn and bloody, but the restraints hadn’t shifted in the slightest. Whoever had taken them had prepared for his strength and magic, and that thought just added to his growing terror. _Who are these people?_ He had tried to shout for them, wanting to know what this was about and to try and make a deal. He didn’t care what they did to him but Freed clearly needed proper medical help, and no matter how much the Rune mage might hate him for it, he was determined to get it for him at any cost. But nothing had brought them to their room, and he was beginning to despair.

_Ever. Bickslow we need you…_

****

   Laxus found himself jolting awake at the screech of metal, his gaze automatically darting to Freed first, relieved to see he was still with him although the Rune Mage looked even worse than before. _Damn, how long did I sleep for?_ However, his attention soon shifted to the man who had just slipped inside, a vicious snarl escaping as he recognised him as the one that had threatened the Rune mage when they were captured. He forgot about the restraints as he flung himself forward, trying to reach the man only to be brought up short as pain shot through his arms.

“What the hell is this about?” He demanded, admitting defeat on getting free, blue eyes blazing as the man came to a halt worryingly close to his mate. “Who the hell are you?” Even now he couldn’t place the man’s face, although there was something oddly familiar about his scent, but he couldn’t put a name to it, and he dismissed it as unimportant. He didn’t really care who he was. All he cared about was what they were planning, and how to get Freed out of there. However, their captor’s expression had darkened at the lack of recognition, and it was Freed who paid the price. The man moving before Laxus even realised what he intended to do, driving an elbow directly into the centre of the blood stain on Freed’s front and the Lightning mage let out an agonised noise as Freed jerked with a weak scream.

   Freed’s scream trailed off to whimpers as his eyes opened, and Laxus felt his magic this time, but all it could do was crackle uselessly against his skin as he watched Freed struggling to catch his breath, and fresh guilt hit him as he caught the tears shimmering in Freed’s eyes.

_Freed…_

“You bastard…” He snarled furiously, only to tense as the man made as though to move towards Freed once more. _No, leave him alone._ Instead, the man smirked at him, no doubt seeing the fear that was fast overwhelming his anger. _I can’t protect him_. Holding his gaze, their captor slowly drew up his sleeve to reveal the guild symbol hidden underneath, and Laxus felt as though he had been punched in the stomach. He knew that mark. Knew it better than he wanted to admit, but he had thought that he would never see it again after all the Master was currently in prison and the guild itself had been disbanded. “Raven Tail…” He whispered, and he saw Freed’s head jerk up at the words, and he couldn’t bring himself to look at the younger man, knowing that the idiot would now be more concerned about him than himself.

“So you haven’t forgotten,” the man commented as he stepped away from Freed. “You took everything from us…our Master, our guild and left us with a name that everyone was only too happy to forget.”

“Your Master broke the law. As did your guild,” it was Freed that spoke up, turquoise eyes blazing although his voice came out as little more than a weak whisper and despite himself, Laxus glanced across him. He immediately wished that he hadn’t, as he realised that the blow from a couple of moments ago had reopened the wound, fresh blood seeping into the material of Freed’s clothes and even more alarmingly beginning to form at his feet.

“So you’re pissed that I took out your guild? That is what this is all about?” Laxus demanded, determined to draw attention away from Freed as he knew that there was no way the younger man could withstand another blow, steadfastly ignoring the pleading look from his mate. Well aware that Freed was probably cursing him for drawing attention to himself. “That’s pathetic…”

“Maybe,” the man allowed, before turning and gripping Freed’s face, fingers digging into the Rune mage’s face deeply enough to draw a pained cry from him. “But we have your weakness,” Laxus growled, but couldn’t deny that. He had always known that his greatest weakness was Freed and the Raijinshuu, just as they were also his greatest strength, and his heart clenched as another soft noise of pain escaped his mate. “At our mercy.”

“Leave him alone!” Laxus snarled unable to stay silent any longer. It would be hard to watch any of his friends being taunted and tormented right in front of his eyes, but watching it happen to Freed. Seeing the pain and fear in the wide-eyes that sought his…was unbearable. “Please…” He wasn’t one to beg, he never had been, but right there and then he would have willingly fallen on his knees and announced that Raven Tail was the best guild if it meant that he could spare Freed even a little bit of the pain he was currently in.

“Laxus...It’s okay…” Freed managed to force out past the hand gripping his chin, wincing as the fingers tightened even further, but he refused to be cowed. “Don’t fall for…it.”

“Freed…”

“Enough!” The man growled, releasing Freed’s face but there was no time for either of them to feel relief because his hand snapped out and caught the Rune mage sharply across the face. Laxus roared, all thoughts of negotiations slipping from his mind as he tried to free himself once more, eyes blazing as he caught sight of the blood that had begun to trickle from the younger man’s nose and lip. “I have an offer for you Laxus Dreyar!” The emphasis on his surname silenced him more effectively than the rest of his words, and he paused, chest heaving and low growls rumbling through his chest as he heard Freed fighting back more whimpers.

“What…What do you want?” He didn’t want to admit defeat, not to Raven Tail and not to his father, and not to his man who had dared hurt his mate right in front of his eyes. However, it was clear that Freed’s strength was fading, the newest injuries only adding to the problem and the pool under his feet was still growing. _He’s not going to make it like this…_

“Your memories.”

    _Memories?_ His confusion must have been written across his face because the man smirked before tilting his head towards Freed and his mouth dropped open with horror as understanding dawned. They had clearly done their homework. They didn’t just know about his strength and magic, although after the Grand Magic Games that wasn’t that unusual, but they knew about him. They knew what Freed and all the memories of their time together meant to him.

“Why?” He asked, hoping to buy himself some more time as his mind raced. The thought of losing those memories was excruciating, but unless they were found in the next few minutes he couldn’t see any other way out of this, and he paled. _I can’t lose him…_

“So you can know the pain of losing everything,”

“I…” Laxus hesitated, already knowing what he was going to say. What he had to say. It was clear that this wasn’t an offer that was going to be available for long, and as much as he feared to lose those memories. The thought of forgetting about Freed leaving him feeling sick to the stomach, but it was a better option than standing here and watching helplessly as his mate slipped away from him.

“Laxus…no…” It was clear that Freed was struggling to stay awake now, but there was understanding in his eyes as he stared at the Dragon-slayer. He knew what Laxus was thinking, and how far the blond was willing to go for his sake, and panic crossed his face. “Not for me…”

   Laxus held his gaze for a moment, weighing his options, not that he really had any. He couldn’t get them out of there himself, and even if he was able to break free of his own restraints, their captor was much too close to Freed for comfort. It would be the work of a moment for the man to finish of his mate, and given his current condition there would be nothing that Freed could do to stop him. He knew what he had to do, but still, he hesitated. _Could he bear to forget him…?_

“Lax…”

“Do it,” Laxus growled softly, cutting across the whispered protest and feeling his heart break as Freed looked at him with horrified eyes. “Take them, just don’t hurt him,” he added shifting his gaze for a moment, seeing the triumphant grin that met his words but missing the flash of amusement that followed as he turned his attention back to Freed. He met teary turquoise eyes for a moment, forcing a small, strained smile onto his lips as he studied the Rune mage’s face, trying desperately to drink in every detail of Freed’s face as he could, even though he knew that it would soon be gone.

   Deep down he doubted that just taking his memories would be enough, not after they had gone to these lengths to get him, and he wondered if they would just kill him. If they didn’t though. If somehow he survived he knew that Freed would do everything in his power to find him, to find a way to fix his memories or to make new ones. It wouldn’t be the same, but it gave him something to cling to as he forced himself to look at the man once more. “Take them.”

“Laxus…no…” Freed whispered, shaking his head frantically despite the pain it obviously caused him, tears trickling down his cheeks as the enormity of what Laxus was offering sank in. He knew how much those memories meant to the Dragon-slayer. It was the reason why he was willing to endure the bad memories, and why the bookcase in their bedroom was now filled with photo albums detailing their life with the team and relationship. Laxus treasured those memories, and yet here he was, willing to toss them away in the hope that it might save him. _I won’t let you_. “Laxus…”

“Let me do this, let me protect you,” Laxus cut him off again, meeting Freed’s eyes, and for a moment he let a little of his fear seep through. “Just…Just don’t forget me,” he pleaded softly. _That’s right, as long as he’s okay, as long as he remembers I can throw it all away_. “Freed…” He trailed off as golden light engulfed his body, and glancing down he tensed as he took in the magical circle that had formed under his feet. _They’re not wasting any time_ …He felt tears on his cheeks as he raised his head once more, ignoring the triumphant smirk on the man’s face as his eyes sought out Freed’s once more, and trying to give him what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

_Please remember me…_

   Freed was openly weeping now, struggling against his bonds despite the weakness spreading through his limbs. He knew that he wasn’t going to last long like this, but it didn’t matter, he couldn’t let Laxus give up his memories…not for him.

“Laxus!”

   Laxus hated the fact that he was hurting Freed even now when all he wanted to do was protect him, but he couldn’t allow himself to falter. Unable to bear the sight of the Rune mage’s tears, and not wanting to watch as he became a stranger, Laxus allowed his eyes to begin drifting shut. _I’m sorry Freed,_ but my memories aren't worth as much as you. Just as they were about to close completely, he was distracted by another magical circle appearing, this time under Freed’s feet and it took him a split second to realise what was happening and his eyes snapped open at once.

“NO! NO! I told you to take mine! TO TAKE MINE!” He was screaming now, pleading desperately as the golden light flared around his mate, even as the circle beneath his feet disappeared, and horror flooded him as he realised that it wasn’t his memories being sacrificed. “NO! FREED!” What really broke him though, was the small smile of relief on the Rune mage’s face before the light became too blinding to make him out, that brief shared look telling him everything that Freed hadn’t had time to voice…

_I’m sorry. I love you. I’m glad that it ended this way…_

“FRREEEEEEEDDDDD!”

****

   Laxus was numb as he stood outside the infirmary, watching through the door as Evergreen and Bickslow, their smiles more strained than he’d ever seen them tried to coax Freed out of his shell. But the Rune mage just started blankly at them, and the Lightning mage felt his heart constrict at the sight, and after a moment he found himself having to turn away. They had been rescued. Fairy Tail had come for them, but it had been too late. They had been too late. By the time they had arrived, Freed, his Freed was gone, and instead, he had been left with a stranger. A stranger that had stared at him with empty eyes, who had no idea why there were tears on his cheeks or blood trickling down his front. And who had no idea why Laxus had been stood there, staring at him with his own tears still falling, and their captor’s parting words still echoing in his ears.

_“Now you will know what it is to exist, but to be forgotten by those who should never forget you.”_


	2. Chapter 2

_“Now you will know what it is to exist, but to be forgotten by those who should never forget you.”_

****

   Laxus was tossing and turning in his bed, face contorted with pain. With guilt, his chest heaving as he rolled onto his side, instinctively reaching out for a warm body that was no longer there before jerking awake with an anguished cry. It took a moment for him to realise where he was, his mind filled with the nightmarish images of that day. The day he had lost everything. A soft sob breaking free as his fingers clutched at the empty sheets beside him, tears sliding down his cheeks.

“ _NO! NO! I told you to take mine! TO TAKE MINE!” He was screaming now, pleading desperately as the golden light flared around his mate, even as the circle beneath his feet disappeared, and horror flooded him as he realised that it wasn’t his memories being sacrificed. “NO! FREED!” What really broke him though, was the small smile of relief on the Rune mage’s face before the light became too blinding to make him out, that brief shared look telling him everything that Freed hadn’t had time to voice…_

_I’m sorry. I love you. I’m glad that it ended this way…_

   The nightmare itself was nothing new, he’d had them practically every night since that day. The memories of his failure to protect Freed, of what had been done to his mate right in front of his eyes refusing to dim, even now a year later. But it had been a while since it had been that intense, that vivid, as though he could just reach out and he would be able to touch the Rune mage…touch his mate. His breath hitched at that thought, and he couldn’t stop his gaze from drifting to the bedside table and the photo that Reedus had painted years ago. They had just come back from a hard job with the Raijinshuu, and they had fallen asleep huddled together in a booth, and the paint mage had taken advantage of it to get a rare picture of them. They looked so content, the Rune mage practically curled in the Dragon-slayer’s lap, his head tucked under Laxus’s chin and fingers buried in the material of Laxus’s shirt, a soft smile playing on his lips even in sleep.

We were happy…

   It was hard to pull his eyes away, desperately wanting to cling to a happier memory after that nightmare, but slowly he rolled onto his back with a sigh and reached up to brush away his tears. _Why? Why can’t I get away from this pain?_ There was a constant ache in his chest, a feeling like he could never quite catch his breath and at moments like this, it turned into the same sharp pain that had engulfed him that day. That had swept over him the moment that Freed had looked him with those blank, empty eyes, uncomprehending of what had happened. Of what he had lost, all because he had loved Laxus, all because he had wormed his way into the Dragon-slayer’s heart until he was the single, most important thing in Laxus’s life. _Freed…_

   He knew that there was no way he was going to get back to sleep now, he never could after those dreams, and at some point, he had adapted to living off very little rest. The bed always felt too big nowadays. Too empty, especially now that the Rune mage’s scent had disappeared entirely from their pillows and the duvet. _He’s gone_ …Fresh pain lanced through him at that thought, and with a frustrated growl he shoved the covers aside and slipped out of bed. He headed for the wardrobe, refusing to let his gaze linger on the empty half that had once been filled with Freed’s clothes, another reminder of what he had lost. Yanking his own clothes out far more harshly than he had intended, and he forced himself to pause and take a deep breath, not wanting to risk waking his housemates. Once he felt a little calmer he finished dressing, grabbed his headphones and headed for the door, it was still hours until the others would stir and he couldn’t bear the thought of staying in the house. Not that walking around Magnolia helped, as he was constantly assaulted by memories of times spent with Freed, but it was better than being in the room that they had shared.

   The house was silent like he had expected, they had just come back from a long job, and they had all practically collapsed into bed as soon as they got back. Laxus couldn’t help but envy them a little, although at the same time he was a little relieved as it meant that he didn’t have to explain why he was up, not that he would need to. Evergreen and Bickslow were well aware of his nightmares, and while Freed hadn’t said anything, he had caught the younger man eyeing him with concern after some of his darker nights. _Freed_ … The Dragon-slayer was unsurprised to find his steps had unconsciously taken him to the small room they had turned into a bedroom for the Rune Mage. Jerking his hand away from the handle as he realised that he had reached for it while he was lost in thought, but he couldn’t pull himself away from the door, and instead, he reached up to rest his hand on the wood.

    He had tried. Especially, in those first few weeks, the pain of his loss nearly excruciating, to distance himself from the younger man. _What right did he have to stay by Freed’s side now?_ Not only had he failed to protect him, but everything that had tied them together, the memories of everything they had been through and everything they had done together. The love they had for one another…it was all gone. It hadn’t helped that Freed, the new Freed clearly had no idea how to act around him, his words and actions always strangely timid. Not that Laxus could blame him. After all, the first memory that the Rune mage had of them now was opening his eyes in that cursed room, bleeding out and finding a complete stranger staring at him with tears streaming down his cheeks. And so had pulled away, hunting for the attacker on his own and trusting the rest of the Raijinshuu to take care of Freed. But he had spent every moment missing the Rune mage and worrying that something else might happen, and so he had returned and slowly, excruciatingly slowly they had slipped into a new ‘normal’.

   Their relationship was still strained, tainted by the memories of that day, and Laxus’s lingering fear of what could happen if he let this Freed get too close. It was impossible to let go of that fear, especially when he could see the shadows that lingered in the turquoise eyes. The flickers of emotion that the Rune mage obviously didn’t understand and couldn’t hide, and it had taken a couple of months for Freed to admit that he was getting fragments of memories. Never enough to tell him anything, and so far nothing positive -glimpses of battles, and flashes of pain that Laxus feared came from that day. Occasionally there were flickers of something else, and Laxus would catch the younger man watching him, and at those times none of them could get anything out of him. Part of Laxus always hoped that it was memories of their relationship slipping free, but he didn’t dare ask, didn’t dare to let himself hope, and he swallowed back his questions, and the words of love that still burned in his heart, because goddamn it this was Freed.

“Freed…I…” _I love you. I miss you. I’m sorry_. So many words that he wanted to say, but didn’t dare to say, and for a moment he rested his head against the door. It mirrored their relationship perfectly at the moment. So close and yet so far, and he pulled away with a soft growl.

_What am I doing?_

   His steps were unsteady as he made his way down the stairs, the dull ache in his chest intensifying with each step. _Freed_ … As he stepped down into the living room he found himself freezing as his sharp ears caught the sound of soft breathing, and he immediately clenched his fist, lightning beginning to crackle around it as he took a cautious step forward. He lived in constant fear that the man that had targeted them would come back to finish the job, and he had sworn that he would never let that happen. Even if it meant shattering every one of Fairy Tail’s rules. His pain was briefly forgotten, overwhelmed by his need to protect as he cautiously moved forward, not daring to call out as he didn’t want to drag the others into this. He didn’t want to drag Freed into it. However, his magic dissipated immediately as his eyes landed on the sofa, his expression softening at the sight of the Rune mage curled up tightly at one end of it, although he frowned as he caught the distressed frown marring Freed’s forehead. _Freed…_

   He’d taken a small, half-step forward before he realised what he was doing, wanting to comfort the younger man, itching to pull him into his arms and his breath hitched as he forced himself to stop. _I don’t have that right anymore…_ His gaze darkened as it trailed over Freed’s face, taking in the damage from their latest job, a conflicted mix of anger and guilt churning in his stomach as he reluctantly recalled that once again he had been the source of the younger man’s pain.

_Laxus felt his heart leap into his throat as there was a blur of motion from the corner of his eye, and he whirled just in time to see Freed take a blow that had obviously been intended for him. The Rune mage stumbled back, blood trickling from his nose and the corner of his mouth, and the Dragon-slayer froze for a moment at the soft cry of pain that had escaped before Freed could stifle it. Blood…He shuddered as the memory of Freed hanging helplessly in front of him, blood staining his front and pooling at his feet slammed into him, and he squeezed his eyes shut. Freed…His stomach churned, magic surging to the front and he moved forward with a vicious growl, his lightning filling the air around him as he attacked…his Freed. The man that he had loved more than any other…that he stilled loved with every fibre of his being was gone, but he’d be damned if he was going to let this Freed die too._

_There was no holding back. He fought, lightning scoring the ground around him, unable to see anything but the face of the man that had stolen Freed from him. They had searched…it had been just over a year since that cursed day, a year of fruitlessly searching for their attacker and a year of searching for a way to bring his Freed back. A hope that had long since died, although he was careful to keep that fact hidden, only allowing himself to be dragged around after faint rumours and leads because of the Raijinshuu. Evergreen and Bickslow refused to lose hope, refused to accept that there was no way of bringing their Captain back and Laxus didn’t have the heart to destroy that hope…and so he lost himself in the fight, trying to drive those thoughts and memories away, even for a few minutes._

_“You idiot!” Laxus snarled, turning on Freed the moment he was sure that the last of their enemies were down, his heart jolting again as he watched the blood trickling down the younger man’s face and for a split second he made as though to reach out and wipe it off. It’s not him. It’s not your Freed, the thought slammed into him as it always did whenever he contemplated reaching out to the younger mage, and his hand curled into a fist instead as he let his anger overwhelm his concern. “What the hell were you thinking?” He knew that he was being unfair, and he could see the hint of fear and hurt that had seeped into wide, turquoise eyes at his tone, and his hand clenched tighter. What am I doing?_

_“I…”_

_“It’s isn’t your place to protect me,” Laxus across him sharply, the dull ache in his chest intensifying as he took a step forward, his magic crackling around his fist. Freed hanging in front of him, tears on his cheeks and crimson staining his front and those damned empty eyes. His eyes were beginning to sting, and his voice was harsh as he added. “It was never your place! You…” You were supposed to be safe. I was the one who was supposed to protect you…_

_“Laxus!” Bickslow had moved across to join them the moment he had heard Laxus’s voice rising, and now he moved to stand between the pair, resting a steadying hand on the Rune mage’s shoulder as he realised that Freed was beginning to tremble. “Stop…”_

_“Enough!” Laxus cut across him, not wanting to hear the recriminations, well aware that he was out of order but unable to soften his voice or expression at the moment. He lingered for another minute, staring at Freed, longing to reach out and comfort him and apologise, but unable to see past the blood on his face. Blood that he had sworn that he would never let fall again, and finally he turned away. “I’m going back first…”_

_He had stormed off, and by the time they had made it back to the inn he was already packed and ready to go, unable to bring himself to even look at the Rune mage, and the journey back to Magnolia had been made in a tense silence._

_I shouldn’t have shouted at him_ , his stomach churned as his gaze shifted back to the frown furrowing Freed’s forehead. _Is that because of me?_ He needed to apologise, but at the same time, he needed to get Freed to understand that he didn’t need to protect him and that he couldn’t put himself in danger like that. It was tempting to wake him now and talk to him, at least that way he wouldn’t feel the force of Bickslow and Evergreen’s gaze on him. But he still had no idea how to broach the topic, not without risking making things worse and he started to turn away, hoping that a walk would give him the chance to get his thoughts and words in order.

   However, he found himself pausing as Freed shifted slightly with a soft mumble. Remembering how the younger man had always made that noise when curling closer, always reluctant to let there be even the slightest gap between them in bed. _Freed_ …Laxus hesitated for a moment before shrugging off his coat, taking a deep breath before quietly padding closer to the couch and gently draping it over the sleeping mage, pain lancing through his chest as he watched the Rune mage instinctively curling into the fresh warmth, some of his frown easing out as he burrowed his nose in the coat. Unable to resist this time Laxus reached out, gently running his fingers through the long green hair, careful not to disturb the Rune Mage.

“I’m sorry…” He whispered softly, reluctantly pulling away and rising to his feet, determined not to allow himself any more liberties as he headed for the door, but he couldn’t stop himself from pausing in the doorway and glancing back one last time.

_I love you._

**

   Turquoise eyes slowly drifted open as Freed heard the front door closing behind the Dragon-slayer, his fingers clutching at the coat now lying over him, tears glistening in his eyes as he buried himself in Laxus’s scent. He knew this scent. It stirred something in him, but he didn’t know what and he hated that. He hated knowing that there was more going on, that there was something more about his relationship with Laxus that he couldn’t remember. Back when he had first woken that day in that horrible room, feeling blood on his front and not having a clue as to how he had wound up there or what had happened to him. Or who the blond hanging in front of him was, he had thought that had been the most terrifying thing he was ever going to face. That lack of memories still terrified him, but not as much as this strange, unspoken feeling that lay between them now.

   It had been relatively easy to let Evergreen and Bickslow in, even at the start when he had found himself lost in a sea of confusion, unable to recall even the simplest things about the life he had lived before all of this. Oh, he knew who he was, and how to use his magic, but everything else… Fairy Tail. His teammates. Laxus…all of that was gone. But they had been warm, and oddly familiar and he had needed that, and their friendship had helped him move forward. Laxus was a different matter. It had been impossible to miss the distance that the Dragon-slayer had put between them at the start, and he knew that part of the blame lay with him, it had been hard to look at the blond and not remember what he had woken to, but the distance had hurt. It hurt more than everything else that he had forgotten.

   He had been relieved when a couple of months later Laxus had started coming on jobs with them again, spending more and more time with them, and some part of him had hoped that this was a good sign. And for a while, it had been great, and he found himself recalling more and more fragments. Never anything helpful, little glimpses here and there of battles and that day…he had been reluctant to share those, but he knew they needed to know, knew that they were still searching for a way to restore his memories. What he hadn’t shared with them were the more precious fragments. Little flickers here and there, of a warm hand holding his…tight hugs… whispered words. He had never seen the face that went with those memories, but he knew. He knew every time he looked at Laxus, every time the Dragon-slayer reached out as though to grab him only to pull away a moment later, and he had no idea what to do about it. What could he do when he just had fragments to work from?

   Instead, he had tried to get closer to the Dragon-slayer, a nearly impossible task because Laxus was clearly determined to keep his distance, but still, he tried. Leaping in front of the attack yesterday had been an instinctive action, he hadn’t even thought about what he was doing or the danger to himself. All he knew was that there was a flicker of a memory of doing something similar in the past, and he had moved. What he hadn’t been prepared for was Laxus’s reaction or the pain of hearing those angry words thrown in his direction. ‘ _It isn’t your place to protect me. it was never your place_.’ He shifted slightly, hands tightening on Laxus’s coat. _Yes, it was. At some point it was, and I want to know why…I need to know why_ …He had even tried asking the rest of the Raijinshuu after Laxus had taken off, hoping that they would at least tell him something…

_“Freed,” Bickslow began hesitantly, sighing as he watched Laxus disappearing into the distance before turning to face the Rune mage, exchanging a worried glance with Evergreen who had rushed across to join them. “He…”_

_“What was I to him?” Freed asked softly, his voice trembling as he stared at the spot where the Dragon-slayer had been stood a moment before, a lost expression on his face. It had been like this ever since he could remember. No matter what he tried to do, the blond seemed determined to keep him at a distance, and it nowadays it seemed as though everything he did or said brought Laxus’s temper down on his head. It hurt, more than it should have and he had no idea why, and he turned pleading eyes towards his teammates as he gestured at his head. “Before all this I mean?”_

   Neither of them had been able, or willing to answer him, but he had seen it in their eyes, the confirmation that he had been something more. That for some reason Laxus’s pain over what had happened to him, and about the fact that he couldn’t remember anything, was different than their’s and he hated it. _I want to know why. I want to know what I’m missing…what we were_ … He had tried to convince himself that he could live with his situation, that he could make new memories and take what little fragments he could get, well aware at this stage that there was little hope of fixing his memory. The entire guild had helped with the search for answers, and he had lost count of the number of times he had got his hopes up only for them to fall flat and so he had tried to focus on what he did have, but it wasn’t enough.

_I want to remember._

   Slowly he sat up, holding Laxus’s coat close to himself for comfort. He had pretended that everything was fine, that the silence on the trip home and the way the Dragon-slayer had gone out of his way to avoid so much as looking at him hadn’t bothered him, but his mind had been racing. His teammate's deflection…Laxus’s actions… they both told him that there was something he needed to remember, and he had to do something, anything to try and bring those memories back. He hadn’t told Evergreen of Bickslow what he was thinking, well aware that they had been watching him anxiously ever since Laxus had yelled at him. Just as he knew that his plan was probably going to fail and that it might make things even worse. _But I have to try_ , he thought as he buried his face in the coat once more, immersing himself in Laxus’s scent.

_I have to remember…_

****

   It was fully light by the time that Laxus found himself moving up the road towards their house, unable to stop himself from glancing around warily. They had contemplated moving somewhere else, but this house had been home for a long time, and as much as it hurt to be surrounded by the memories that had been stolen from them, Laxus couldn’t bring himself to leave. Still, his heart ached as he passed the spot where they had been taken a year before. _We were so close to home, to safety, and I couldn’t even keep him safe for that last little distance…_ It was a guilty thought that had needled at him every day since them, fuelling his fury over what had happened and his own guilt, and it was one of the few things he was glad that Freed didn’t remember, although his stomach always plummeted whenever the Rune mage walked past that point without the slightest hint of hesitation.

   Gritting his teeth, he hurried the last of the distance, wanting to check that Freed was still safely at home, even though he was still no closer to working out what he wanted to say to the Rune Mage. He had tried to get his thoughts in order, but as always he had found himself getting sidetracked by memories of happier times, and in the end, he had wound up tracing the same path they had taken that day. Again and again. Unable to stop his mind from running over everything that had happened that day, and everything that he could have done differently. Growling softly, he let himself into the house, relieved to hear no sign of the others being up and about as it would give him a chance to regain his composure before having to deal with them. He moved quickly towards the living room only to come up short as he found the couch empty, apart from his coat which had been folded carefully at one end.

   An uneasy feeling settled in his stomach, but he forced himself not to panic, although there was an urgency to his steps as he dashed up the stairs and he burst into the Rune mage’s room with no thought to waking the others. The uneasy feeling beginning to blossom into full-blown fear as he realised that not only was the room empty, but the stand where Freed stored his sword when he wasn’t using it was empty. _He’s not here_. Not once in the last twelve months had the Rune mage gone anywhere unaccompanied, a rule they had all put in force when they had been unable to find his attacker, and not once had Freed protested about that rule or tried to slip out. _So why now?_

“Laxus? What’s wrong?” Laxus jolted, turning to find a sleepy Evergreen standing in the doorway, and he was unsurprised when Bickslow stumbled into view a moment later. All three of them had been living on high alert since that day, determined to protect Freed, especially now that he had no recollection of the man that had attacked them or any of the enemies they had made in the past.

“Freed?” The Seith mage asked as he took in the empty room, and the panic that Laxus was sure must be written across his and immediately looking more alert. “Laxus what is going on?”

“He’s not here…” Laxus whispered, electricity beginning to crackle around him, his fear intensifying as an endless series of questions flittered across his mind. How long had Freed been gone? Had he left of his own free will? Was this about what had happened a year before? It was only when a hand came to rest on his shoulder that he was dragged back to the present, startled to realise that Bickslow had moved across to him and was still waiting for him to continue and the Dragon-slayer swallowed before forcing himself to continue. “He was asleep on the couch when I went out for a walk, but he’s not there now…he’s gone.” _He’s gone…_

“We knew something was off…” Evergreen muttered.

“What do you mean?” Laxus demanded sharply, regretting his tone as soon as it came out, but he knew that they would understand. He could see the worry pressing in on him, written cleanly across their faces and Evergreen merely sighed, before glancing across at Bickslow.

“He was asking us what he was to you before all this happened,” Bickslow admitted hesitantly, well aware that it was a sensitive subject. More than once they had tried to convince Laxus to reach out to Freed, to try and rebuild his relationship, knowing that both of them needed it, but their words had always fallen on deaf ears. However, although Laxus’s expression had darkened, he gestured for the Seith mage to continue. “We couldn’t answer him, but we could see that it was still bothering him.” In the past, Freed had been able to hide his thoughts and feelings away behind a mask, but this new Freed had yet to perfect that skill, something that was both useful and painful. A reminder of what had been lost along with those memories.

“But…”

“He doesn’t understand…” Evergreen cut across him, her expression showing that she didn’t fully understand either as she glanced around the empty room. It felt wrong to think of this as Freed’s room, even now after all this time, both she and Bickslow expected to always find him by Laxus’s side and it was clear that a large part of the Lightning mage wanted that. She hesitated for a moment before turning back to them. “I think he remembers more than he’s told us, and he wants to remember more, especially about you…” She had caught the moments when Freed was clearly trapped in a fragment, and the way his gaze would linger on Laxus afterwards and how he would frantically shake his head if they tried to ask what he was recalling. “Some part of him know what he was to you, and I think he might be trying to do something to bring it back properly.”

   Laxus had frozen at her words… _he remembers more about me?_ It had always hurt to hear Freed whispering to the others about what little bits he had managed to remember and to realise that he never once seemed to feature clearly in those fragments. _Why did he hide it…?_ His gaze darkened as he glanced down at his hands which had clenched at his sides and it was easy enough to answer his own question…because I kept pushing him away. He closed his eyes for a moment, not wanting to see the accusing looks that he knew that he deserved. His heart hammering at the thought of Freed asking what their relationship had been, of him wanting to bring those memories back. The Rune mage had been trying so hard to move forward with what he had now, that Laxus had sometimes wondered if he even wanted to remember and he felt the dull ache in his chest increasing. _When did I stop understanding him?_

“Laxus?”

“He’s gone back to where all this began…” He whispered, his eyes snapping open, a lead weight sinking in his stomach. He had spoken without thinking, but now that he actually thought about it, he knew that he was right. _He’s gone back there…_

“Are you sure?” Bickslow demanded, not wanting to doubt the Dragon-slayer, but unable to forget how vehemently Freed had refused to go back there the one time they had suggested it. There had been real terror in his eyes at the thought of it, and they had been unable to bring themselves to raise the topic again after that.

“I’m sure…” _I just wish I wasn’t_. Laxus had forced himself to go back there, but it had been hard to step foot in the room let alone stay there longer than a couple of minutes, and privately he had been relieved when Freed had refused to go. _But that’s changed_ …Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to unclench his hands before glancing at them. “Stay here, I’ll go after him.” Freed had found the courage to face up to what had happened and what had been lost, there was no way he could keep avoiding what had happened. No way he couldn’t respond to those feelings. He didn’t wait for a response, pulling free of Bickslow’s hand and pushing gently past Evergreen as he headed for the stairs, ignoring her protests.

“Laxus!”

“Let him go,” Bickslow said softly, reaching out to stop her as they heard the front door opening and closing a moment later.

“But…”

“He needs to do this, they both need him to do this,” he cut across her gently, and she glanced up, her protests dying away as she caught the solemn expression on his face and she sighed before nodding in understanding.

_Please Laxus, bring him back._

****

   Freed’s heart had been hammering from the moment he had slipped out of the house. He couldn’t remember the last time he had gone out of his own, and while it had never really bothered him, there was a strange feeling of liberation as he headed down the road. But also a sense of vulnerability, and he found himself gripping the hilt of his sword as he made his way through the quiet streets. He knew why the others were so wary…so protective. He could walk right up to the man that had done this to him, and he wouldn’t recognise him, his stomach churned at that thought, but he didn’t let himself falter. It was a risk, one that he would probably catch an earful later, but he had to do this, he couldn’t just keep going without those memories, without knowing who and what he had been to Laxus and so he pressed onwards, eyes warily darting around.

   It had been one thing that had haunted all of them. The warehouse where they had been kept was just within the boundary of Magnolia. They had been so close to home, so close to the guild and yet it had taken their teammates just slightly too long to find them. That was part of the reason why he had refused to go with them when they had suggested that he go back, just to see if it would jolt any memories into focus. He hadn’t wanted the reminder that all of this had happened where he should be safe. The other reason had been the memory of that day had haunted him. Oh, he couldn’t remember most of it, but that terrifying moment of coming into awareness and realising he had no idea about anything that was happening or who Laxus was. That moment hounded his dreams, and he had feared that going back would just bring that fear back to the forefront.

   He found his steps faltering as the warehouse came into sight, still easily able to recognise it from his hazy memories of being carried out of it that fateful day, fear bringing him to a halt as he stared at it. It looked so innocuous, just a small warehouse that had long fallen into disuse, long before it had been sealed off after they had been held there and it was hard to wrap his head around just how much had been lost in that place. The temptation to turn around, to return to the safety of his home or the guild was nearly overwhelming, and he worried at his bottom lip. He still had no idea if this would work, if there was anything to be gained from this but pain. _But…_

“Laxus…” Turning back would mean giving up on his hope of understanding what lay between them, what he had lost that the others were so reluctant to tell him about. For a few minutes he stood there, alternating between deciding to go back and deciding to press onwards, but in the end, it was the latter that won out. _I need to know_. Still, his movements were slow and hesitant as he crept forward.

   The door had been sealed off, but it was the work of seconds for him to break through the spell barrier, his breath catching in his throat as the barrier disappeared. _I have to do this…I have to do this._ It was a mantra in the back of his mind, and he clung to that as he stepped inside, shuddering as he moved deeper into the building. _I don’t want to be here_ …His memories from that day were right at the forefront now, and he found his hand drifting up to his chest, a dull ache blossoming where the nasty scar he had received from this incident lay. That he had even survived had been a miracle. Porlyusica had told him that if Wendy hadn’t been there with the search team, he might well have not just lost his memories in this place and he found himself coming to a halt again, wondering what the hell he was doing back here. So far the only thing he could remember was events that he could already remember, events that had been the starting point of his current life.

   It took him a couple more minutes to get moving again, but he had slowed down even more now, his fingers clutching convulsively at the hilt of his sword and his breathing coming in short, sharp pants as terror washed over him. _I don’t want to be here,_ he swallowed nervously as he spotted the metal door that led to where they had been kept, vaguely remembering how Bickslow had smashed through that day, and even now it hung from one hinge. The room beyond was dark and menacing and for a moment Freed was ready to turn and bolt, nausea rising as he stared at it, his eyes stinging fiercely. He really didn’t want to go in there. The memories were already vivid enough as it was, and fragments that he had already recalled were rising adding to his fear. But he had come this far already, and the need to know, to recall what he had lost was still coursing through him, and so he inched forwards, hastily scrawling runes in the air so that there was a pale, purple light to show him the way.

   The room looked just as it had that day. The chains that had held both him and Laxus in place were still there, cuffs hanging open from where the Raijinshuu had shattered them to free them. And his gaze was drawn to the dark stain on the floor where he had been, nausea flooding him at the memory of that pain and he found himself stumbling back to the door as he lost control of his stomach _._

 _I nearly died here_ …

   It was there in the air, and he shuddered as he slowly straightened, wiping a hand across his mouth before forcing himself back into the room. This was where he had lost everything. Where he had forgotten everything, and he wanted it back. But he had no idea how to get it back. How to piece the fragments he had into a coherent picture, how to work out what he and Laxus had been and he was barely aware of the tears on his cheeks as he made his way shakily towards the chains that had held him that day, tentatively reaching out to brush his fingers against the cold metal.

“Please…I…” His voice cracked, alarmingly loud in the silent building and he flinched violently, jumping as his movement rattled the chains and it took him a while to regain his composure. “Please, I want to remember…I need to remember.” He wasn’t even sure who he was asking. The building? The man who had attacked them? His past self? A broken sob welled up, the strength leaving his legs as he collapsed to his knees beneath the chains, unable to stop the tears that he could now feel coursing down his cheeks. “Please…”

_Give them back to me…_

**

   Laxus felt sick as he stepped into the warehouse, his sharp nose picking up Freed’s scent lingering in the air, and it was only that which made him move forwards. The memories that were never far from his thoughts and had already been stirred up by his nightmare the night before were pressing in on him from all sides.

_He was in a small, poorly lit room that he had never been in before, but the uneasiness that churned in his stomach at that revelation paled in comparison to the rage that swept over him when he lifted his head to see Freed strung from the ceiling across from him. Freed…The Rune mage was unconscious, a large bruise marring the side of his face, but what scared Laxus more was the blood staining the front of his coat._

   His stomach lurched as he sped up. From all their searching it didn’t seem as though the man or anyone with links to Raven Tail had lingered in the area after that day. But what if they had been watching. Waiting for a moment when Freed was alone and vulnerable? The thought of anything happening to the Rune mage, even though this wasn’t his Freed terrified him.

_“I…” Freed whispered, valiantly forcing his eyes open once more. “You…fell?” Laxus nodded silently, his stomach clenching at how young and uncertain the other mage sounded at the moment, worried about the slurring that still dominated his words. “I tried to get to you…got free for a moment, then…stabbed?” He glanced down at himself as though doubting his own words, blinking sluggishly as he took in the blood staining the front of his jacket. “Stabbed…”_

   He was getting close to that cursed room now, the memories intensifying. He had forced himself to come back here a couple of days after they had been rescued, hoping to find something, anything that would help him find their attacker or undo the spell that had been used to take Freed’s memories. The memories had been worse then, the realisation of how close he had come to losing the Rune mage far too close to the surface. And that night when he had finally left he had gone and got quietly drunk, trying to block out those thoughts…those memories…

_Freed’s scream trailed off to whimpers as his eyes opened, and Laxus felt his magic this time, but all it could do was crackle uselessly against his skin as he watched Freed struggling to catch his breath, and fresh guilt hit him as he caught the tears shimmering in Freed’s eyes. Freed…_

   He paused as he caught the acrid smell filling the air as he approached the room, quickly spotting the vomit next to the door and his heart ached. _Freed. T_ he younger man had never been back here, and he had fewer memories of that day than Laxus, but clearly, even the few he had, had been too much. Now that he had stopped and was focusing, he could hear the shaky breathing from inside the room, and the quiet, hiccupping sobs that Freed was obviously trying to hide, and Laxus gulped at the sound, an overwhelming need to comfort him washing over him and he moved forward again.

_“NO! NO! I told you to take mine! TO TAKE MINE!” He was screaming now, pleading desperately as the golden light flared around his mate, even as the circle beneath his feet disappeared, and horror flooded him as he realised that it wasn’t his memories being sacrificed. “NO! FREED!” What really broke him though, was the small smile of relief on the Rune mage’s face before the light became too blinding to make him out, that brief shared look telling him everything that Freed hadn’t had time to voice…_

_I’m sorry. I love you. I’m glad that it ended this way…_

   Laxus’s heart was already pounding as he stepped into the room, but it broke as his gaze landed on the slumped form of the Rune Mage. Freed was huddled beneath the chains that had held him captive a year ago, seemingly unaware or uncaring of the fact that he was sat on the stain made by his own blood, rocking backwards and forwards slightly as he wept softly.

“Freed…” Laxus whispered, trying not to scare him, but Freed flinched violently at the sudden sound, and his head shot up, and suddenly Laxus found himself unable to breathe. He had never, not once in all their years together seen the other man look so broken and for a moment he found himself completely unable to move. Terrified that one wrong move, one wrong word would cause Freed to shatter completely. It took a long moment for anything approaching recognition to appear in the shadowed eyes, and it was only when he heard a soft whisper that might have been his name that Laxus found himself able to shake of his paralysis. “Freed… Freed…” He murmured as soothingly as he could, slowly closing the distance between them as he dropped down to a crouch and opened his arms in invitation, letting the Rune mage decide the next move.

   For a moment Freed just stared at him, but then with a soft wail, the Rune mage moved, flinging himself into the Dragon-slayer’s arms and burying his face against Laxus’s chest as huge, body shaking sobs wracked his body. Laxus swallowed nervously, before gently tightening his hold on the younger mage as he guided them both down into a seated position, something loosening in his heart as he buried his nose in green hair. _Freed_ …He had almost forgotten how comfortably they fit together, the feel of Freed’s hair tickling him and his mate’s scent flooding his nose and he squeezed his eyes shut, tears beginning to trickle down his cheeks as he listened to the broken sobs. _Freed…_ slowly he began to rub a hand up and down the Rune mage’s back, drawing silly patterns as he had once done when they lay in bed cuddling. He didn’t speak, not trusting himself not to say the wrong thing and sensing that Freed wasn’t ready to talk or listen at the moment, and so he just held on.

   He had no idea how much time had passed before Freed’s sobbing had eased out, the Rune mage slumping more and more into his arms, the odd hiccupping sob still escaping as he pressed closer to Laxus as though trying to hide. The Lightning mage still didn’t dare to speak. As much as he hated hearing Freed’s pain, having the Rune mage in his arms, fitting together so easily…it ignited a warmth beneath the dull ache in his chest, a warmth that he thought he had resigned himself to never feel again, and he had no idea what to say. He knew that this wasn’t his Freed and that whatever the younger man had been trying to achieve by coming here had clearly failed. But it was Freed, and he blinked as a possessive growl rumbled through his chest, feeling Freed tensing for a moment at the sound before finally trying to pull away. Something snapped in the Dragon-slayer then, and he held on, pulling Freed back against his chest and without thinking he pressed a kiss into the green hair, his voice coming out harsher and more broken than he had intended.

“I love you…”

   For a moment there was nothing, and it slowly dawned on Laxus what he had just done, what he had just said to the man that he had been pushing away for so long, and his stomach churned as he made to release Freed. He had barely begun to loosen his tight hold on Freed when the other man suddenly clutched at him, and the Dragon-slayer panicked as Freed whimpered in pain. Frantically pushing him away just enough to be able to see his face, catching a brief glimpse of the pain contorting the Rune mage’s expression before Freed was crying out, thrashing in his arms and frantically scrabbling at his head. Terrified Laxus could do nothing but grab the wild hands, desperately trying to stop Freed from hurting himself, not having a clue what was going on.

“Freed? Freed?!” He called frantically, grunting as Freed’s thrashing head caught his chin, and he hastily pulled the younger man back against him, supporting his weight without releasing his hold on the other’s hands. His voice cracking with worry as he tried to get an answer from the Rune Mage. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

“H-hurts…” Freed managed to force out, and for a brief moment pained, turquoise eyes met his panicked gaze, and there was something in them that made Laxus’s breath catch. _Freed…my Freed?_ Hope. Hope that terrified him was blossoming in his chest, but he wasn’t given a chance to ask anything else, as purple light had flashed around the Rune mage’s head and as he blinked to clear his vision he felt Freed slumping in his arms.

“Freed!” Laxus shouted, finally managing to clear his vision, terror flooding him as he took in the pale face and slumped figure, only the fact that he could hear Freed’s heartbeat and feel his soft breaths against his skin stopping him from descending completely into full-blown panic. Still, there was no hiding his fear as he gently shook the younger man, searching desperately for any sign of a response, his mind racing as he tried to work out what could have happened. “Freed can you hear me? Freed?” There was nothing, and Laxus was trying very hard not to fall apart, trembling as he gently scooped the smaller man into his arm, his heart aching as Freed’s head came to rest against his shoulder, and he couldn’t help but whisper a desperate plea as he dashed towards the door.

Please, don’t take him from me now. Please…

****

Three days later:

   Freed’s head was pounding unpleasantly as he drifted awake, nausea making his stomach churn in an unpleasant way as he tried to coax his eyes open, and he was reminded of the time that Laxus and Bickslow had felt it necessary to see just how much alcohol he could tolerate. He had felt like he was dying the next day, and it felt very much how he felt right now, and as he struggled to get his eyes open, he swore that he was going to kill them if they had tricked him into a drinking contest or something stupid…

“Freed?” A soft voice that still sounded unbearably loud in his pounding head made him jump slightly, and he groaned in displeasure as he tilted his head towards the voice. “Are you with me?” It had taken him a moment to place it as Laxus’s voice, and his forehead creased, unable to recall ever hearing his mate sound quite so broken or so frantic before. _What happened?_ Warm fingers had curled around his hand, and he twitched his fingers weakly as he struggled to get his voice to work, wanting to do something to ease the worry he could detect in the frantic question.

“No…” He finally managed to say, swallowing hard as his stomach threatened to rebel and it was a moment before he was able to continue. “Going to…kill you if you…got me drunk again…” That had been far too hard to say, and he groaned again, only to pause when he noticed the silence that had met his words and the sudden tension in the hand holding his. “Laxus…?”

“What did you say?”

“I’m going to…” Freed had finally managed to convince his stubborn eyes to open, and he trailed off as he found himself staring into wide blue eyes that were slightly too close for comfort, and he blinked heavily trying to bring Laxus’s face into focus. “What?” He asked as the stunned expression the Dragon-slayer wore came completely into focus, fear flooding him when he realised that tears were shimmering in Laxus’s eyes. “Laxus…?”

“You remember?” There was an odd note in the Dragon-slayer’s voice that made Freed pause and actually focus on what was happening. _What did he remember?_ His pounding head was making it nearly impossible to focus on anything, but the strangeness of Laxus’s behaviour was enough to make him persevere, It was strange, it felt like he was piecing memories from two different people together and he frowned at the odd sensation, uneasiness churning in his stomach. “Freed, do you remember who I am?” Laxus had apparently run out of patience, and there was a desperation to his question that had Freed shifting his focus back to the Lightning mage, and his frown deepened at the pain he could see in the blue eyes.

“My…Laxus,” Freed whispered, slowly lifting his hand to brush his fingers against Laxus’ cheek, stunned when his words were met by the tears slowly beginning to trickle down Laxus’ cheeks before he was suddenly drawn into a tight hug and he felt rather than heard the sob that followed. Confusion washed over him, but all he cared about was that Laxus was hurting and he wrapped his arms around his mate, whispering meaningless words of comfort. He had no idea what was happening, his memories still feeling hazy and oddly disconnected, but he wanted to help. He needed to help. “Laxus? What happened…?”

   There was no reply besides Laxus pressing his face into his hair, and Freed could feel the tiny, butterfly kisses being pressed into his hair and he sighed and settled for curling closer. Clearly, he wasn’t getting an answer any time soon, and so he turned his attention back to trying to piece his own memories together, aware that it must be something terrible to have reduced the Dragon-slayer to this state. Slowly, bits and pieces began to come together, and his eyes widened, hands tightening against Laxus…

    He remembered going out the date with Laxus and being ill. Drugged, he corrected himself... then waking in that room, and his stomach rolled as images overlapped, recalling the pain of being stabbed and hung from the ceiling. His terror at the thought of Laxus being stripped of his memories, and the overwhelming relief that had washed over him when he realised it had been a trick. He had been so relieved to see the magic circle beneath his feet, and his breath caught in his throat, as the other memories, the strange ones that felt almost like they weren’t his washed over him once more, and he understood…

_They really took them…_

“Freed?” Laxus had felt the sudden tension in Freed’s body and reluctantly pulled away enough to peer down at his mate, taking in the comprehension on the pale face and the pain in the turquoise eyes rose to meet his gaze.

“I…remember…” Freed whispered brokenly, struggling to comprehend what had happened. The time that they had lost. The pain he had caused the Dragon-slayer and the hurt of realising from the odd memories that Laxus had actually pulled away from him. “I…I…” There were too many emotions and memories churning inside him at the moment, and he was unaware that he was crying now as he pressed his face against Laxus’s chest, needing to hide from the overwhelming sensation.

_How could I forget this? Forget him?_

   Laxus hugged him tightly for a moment, feeling like his heart might burst out of his chest at any moment now as Freed’s words echoed through his mind on repeat.

‘ _My Laxus’…_

_‘I remember…’_

    How long had he longed to hear those words? How long had it been since he’d given up hope of ever hearing those words from the Rune mage? The last three days had passed in a blur of terror and hope as he waited for Freed to come back to him. Porlyusica had been summoned to examine him, and it had been the cranky healer that had worked out what had happened. What the Freed of a year ago had done to try and protect himself from the spell. There had been a rune cage in his mind, applied internally at the last moment, the only magic that Freed had been capable of doing within the anti-magic restraints they had been held in.

    In that last minute, he had sealed his memories away to protect them. Allowing the memory spell to take hold and come into effect, but not allowing the memories to be destroyed. But what Freed had not anticipated, or been unable to work around was that the spell had wiped his memory of casting the spell, and how it could be released…

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered softly, pressing his lips to Freed’s forehead, his heart aching as he felt tears soaking into the front of his shirt. He had been forced to recount what had happened in the warehouse to the healer, and he had thought that his heart would shatter completely when she had guessed that it had been his whispered ‘I love you’ that had unlocked the cage trapping Freed’s memories. Guilt had gnawed at him ever since as he realised that it was something his mate would do, probably hoping or believing that Laxus would say those words a lot sooner than he had. _Instead,_ _I pushed him away. I could have cost him everything_ …

    Porlyusica had warned them all that it might have too long, that remaining sealed for so long only to be released so forcefully might have caused irrevocable damage. It seemed as though they had been spared that much at least, but still… “I should have said the words sooner. I should have told you every day how much I love you. I could have spared you so much…”

“Don’t…” Freed whispered, finally finding his voice as he peered up at Laxus, seeing the guilt and grief whirling in his eyes. He could remember the past year, and while it hurt to realise the Dragon-slayer had pulled away, he could understand. He remembered the terror he had felt at the thought of Laxus losing his memories, of the Dragon-slayer looking at him with blank eyes and no idea of who he was. He doubted that he could have remained right by his side if their roles had been reversed. “Don’t apologise…” He was shivering at the mere thought of it. At the realisation of how much had been lost, and how much could have been lost. He could only vaguely recall having the idea of protecting his memories, and he hadn’t even been sure that it would work and he hadn’t had a chance to try and tell Laxus.

   He hadn’t even realised that he was still speaking aloud until a gentle finger came to rest on his lips, silencing him as he blinked up at Laxus with wide eyes and his breath hitched at the look in the Dragon-slayer’s eyes.

“Freed Justine,” Laxus’s voice was softer than Freed had ever heard it, and he felt fresh tears slipping down his cheeks at the depth of emotion in that voice. “I love you.” Gentle lips captured his. It wasn’t a heated kiss, but a tender one full of memories and tenderness, and Freed melted into it letting it help to drive away the less pleasant memories of the last year. The thoughts about the time that they had lost, and he let out a soft noise of protest when Laxus pulled away, relieved when the Dragon-slayer made no move to release him, instead trailing gentle, butterfly kisses across his cheek before pulling back and gazing directly into his eyes. “Promise me that you will never forget that.”

“As long as you promise me too…” Freed replied when he finally got his voice to work again, his lips quirking up in a small smile as he got a small but fervent nod of agreement, pushing himself up so that he could whisper into the blond’s ear. “I love you…my Laxus.” This time he wasn’t surprised when he was pulled into a more heated kiss, sealing the promise between them, and reassuring them both that this was real. When they pulled apart, they were both smiling softly, continuing to hold each other tightly and completely unaware of the tearful audience in the doorway, as the rest of the Raijinshuu had come to see what was happening when they’d heard quiet voices.

_It’s a promise, we won’t ever forget this…_


End file.
